Vulnerability is always something I’ve struggled with. Most of the reason, honestly, is pride and probably a bit of fear mixed in, too. I’ve learned, though, that these two things together create a pretty great mask that only wants to be taken off when no one else is around or in the dark.
About two weeks ago, I was sitting and reading Psalm 36 when God showed me something, and let me tell you: it was not something I wanted to hear.
You know how we ask God to reveal our sins to us, but when He does, we cover them right back up again? Well, it was definitely one of those times for me.
You see, I was reading the part in Psalm 36 about the traits of the wicked, and I saw a bit too much of me standing there, staring right back at me. Especially, in verse 2 where David wrote, “For he (the wicked) flatters himself in his own eyes that his iniquity cannot be found out and hated.”
While I was reading all of this at first, I was thinking, “How could someone get to such a deep level of wickedness and sin?” I was trying to think of just the process someone would have to go through to get there and how it would have started.
As I was thinking about that, God revealed to me part of the way it happens, and how it’s so easy to let that downward spiral start if we’re not careful.
First: Pride and separation can start when we hide all our sins from everyone and pretend like we’re spotless. We flatter ourselves because no one can see our sin, to put it like what David said.
I think most people understand that part of the process pretty well, but I think the tricky and slippery part comes next. It’s where the devil tends to trap us because he’s appealing to our already very prideful nature.
The second part: Because we already have the mask or sheet (whatever) over our sins that keeps them from everyone else, we don’t realize the mask is hiding them from us, too. If we don’t see our faults, we start to feel as though maybe we don’t need God so much. I mean, after all we have it all figured, right? Except for just one thing: We so don’t!
But if you think about it, it’s such a slippery slope that we can easily stumble into in our everyday lives when we choose to hide our mistakes and hurt from people. Even though we know that person needs to hear they’re not alone in whatever it is they’re going through or struggling with.
When we slink away from that vulnerability, it builds up a wall that has no place in a space where God’s grace is supposed to reign, yet we do it all the time.
Why do we immediately hold back from vulnerability because we think others will judge us when the very foundation of our faith is based on a God who judges, not man?
If it’s already been covered by the blood of Jesus, why do we still depend on the nod of approval from worldly judges? They’re going to be standing with us, judged by God in the end, too.
Our enemy understands grace, forgiveness, and its true power very well, and that’s why he strives with all his being to make us forget it. Because he knows if we understand it that well, his reign is finished.
Even as I’m writing this, the devil is trying so hard to get me to stop. He’s trying to convince me not to write this because I’m not great at vulnerability, so why should I write about it?
The truth is though that I’m writing this because I want to get better at it, and I believe its such a powerful weapon we have as children of God. Why would God be telling me not to share this and challenge others to use such a powerful weapon we have against the enemy? He wouldn’t.
God would never do that, but our enemy is so crafty and likes to distract us. He likes to distract us with our own appearance and reputation, so that we don’t even give hurting them a second thought.
Lamentation details how a whole nation found they’re satisfaction in everything but God and their fall, and chapter 4 tells a lot of how their focus on outward appearance contributed to it.
Lamentations 4:7-8 “Her princes were purer than snow, whiter than milk; their bodies were more ruddy than coral, the beauty of their form was like sapphire. Now their face is blacker than soot; they are not recognized in the streets; their skin has shriveled up on their bones; it has become as dry as wood.”
It’s such a terrible image to think about, but it was the reality for the Israelites, the chosen people of God. After all of the miracles God had done in their sight, they turned their back on Him completely.
He was so faithful, and all He asked was that they obeyed Him. They clearly didn’t, though. Instead, they left Him, their sacrifices, and their feasts of remembrance. They forgot the practice of humbly submitting themselves before God and their fellow-men.
In the beginning days of their nation, they offered sacrifices to atone for their sins. They had to go to the priest and admit they messed up. I bet that was a humbling experience, and when they stopped they, I bet the pride built up. They then forgot because they covered it up.
A whole nation hid in elaborate clothing and the many blessings they had, instead of clothing themselves I the Lord’s righteousness. They hid, forgetting each other but still continuing with everyday practices.
That’s such a tragic story, but it doesn’t end there because God sent Jesus, the One who saves us from our sins. The one who forgives us, so we can forgive others and tell them about His love. We aren’t like the Israelites, needing to offer sacrifices, but we have One who was the sacrifice for us.
Let’s not have this generation hide like the Israelites, too, but let us rejoice and boast in the precious love and salvation of our Savior together.
James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.
Galatians 3:13 Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us -for it is written, “Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree.”